by Bev Bachel

“I know we haven’t spoken in years, but I’m about to make a big career move and would really like to pick your brain. Lunch?”

“Okay, I think this draft of my résumé should do it. Could you take one more look and tell me what you think?”

“Hi, I’m friends with your friend _______. Would you be willing to put me in touch with your publisher?”

I get several requests like this each week. Perhaps you do as well. If you’re like me, you go out of your way to help. After all, that’s what being a good friend and colleague is all about.

But I wonder, do the people asking for our help understand that it comes at the expense of our own work/life balance?

When I’m helping someone else, I’m not spending time with my family and friends. I’m not getting through my to-do list. And I’m not generating billable hours. (And at my hourly rate, even a quick cup of coffee means missing out on at least $100 of billable work.)

While I would never ask to be paid for my time, is a simple “thank you” too much to ask?

Pay It Forward

A year ago, my friend Carolyn started a new business. Like many entrepreneurs, she needed a name for her company. Cash was tight, so she invited me and another friend over to brainstorm. During the course of the evening, we drank wine, shared stories, talked trade, and came up with a great name for her company.

Following that evening, Carolyn did just what I expected: she sent both my friend and me a thank-you card.

But the cards included something unexpected: an Apple gift card. While the gift wasn’t necessary, it was Carolyn’s way of showing that she understood the value of our time. It not only made me glad I volunteered, it made me eager to continue to help, which is why I’m now writing copy for her new website.

The Thought Counts

I’m not advocating that you send a gift card every time you want to say thanks. In fact, many companies prohibit employees from accepting them. But I do urge you to express your appreciation.

The six-word e-mail I received yesterday after helping a fellow writer improve her e-mail signature made me feel appreciated. It also came with a bottom-line benefit to her. Because it arrived in my inbox just as I was deciding how to handle another assignment, guess what I did? I sent her the assignment.

Building a Solid Foundation

In addition to helping you get work, saying thanks also helps keep your relationships strong.

Research shows that people generally take their talent and their business elsewhere—not because of price—but because they don’t feel appreciated or valued.

So the next time someone helps you out—whether it’s reviewing a query, passing along a job lead, editing your Loft Mentor Series application, or offering some much-needed inspiration—take a moment to let him or her know just how grateful you are.

These tips can help:

• Size matters. Are you thanking someone for helping you come up with a title for your book or for helping you land a six-figure advance? The size of your thanks should be in proportion to what you’re thankful for.
• Make it meaningful. One person might appreciate receiving tickets to a Twins game, another might long for an hour of quiet in a spa, while a third might appreciate a Loft membership. Keeping your recipient in mind will ensure that your thank-you delivers pleasure, not added stress.

• Make it personal. I still recall the note author, freelancer, and Loft instructor John Rosengren sent me after we met for coffee at Open Book two years ago. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but the fact that it was handwritten made me feel special.
• Be specific. Don’t just tell the person he or she is great. Cite specific examples: sharing a tip that saved you hours of research, connecting you to the right editor for your article on bedbugs, giving you the phone number of a tech guy who makes weekend house calls.
• It’s never too late. A year ago, I left a voicemail for the person who gave me my first freelance writing job. I just wanted to tell him that even now, three decades later, I’m still grateful that he took a chance on me, a fresh-out-of-college English major whose only sample was a 20-page paper on Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying. He promptly called back, letting me know that I’d made his day.

Making “thank you” part of your day will help you make the world a better place. In the process, I bet you’ll also better your own bottom line.

Bev Bachel is a writer who’s thankful to the Loft for giving her the opportunity to write this article, develop new skills, and make new friends.